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  • Lalena Cooper

The Day of Love - Living Unconnected

Hello Beautiful Wonderful Woman!

I wanted to send out a quick note of encouragement.

Valentines Day is just a regular ordinary day.

It is only one day out of the week - one day out of the month and one day out of the year.

It holds no weight in the GRAND scheme of life and February 15th is only 24 hours away.


Valentines Day - The "magical" day of love, where men are expected to dole out chocolates and flowers, and gush with lavish words describing their never-ending passion for us, just might be too intense of an expectation.

It's a little overwhelming for my AspieMan, how about yours?

I spent many years being completely disappointed and feeling unloved because the Inventor forgot or made endless comments about how much money Hallmark was making commercializing the holidays. There were other years he went over the top, having long-stemmed roses delivered to the house or the office even when we couldn't afford such splurges. I never knew what to expect.

This year I thought I would get a head of the craziness and just ask for what I'd like to have as a gift.

I asked.

I reminded.

I asked again.

Nope, not happening.

At least not tomorrow. I'll be picking out my own new pair of horse riding spurs this week. ( yes I ask for tack for holidays! I LOVE horses! )

The thing is, I'm fine with this arrangement. There is a part of me ( a BIG part ) that misses romance and all of the excitement it brings. However, I am extremely grateful for the effort my AspieMan puts into showing me his love everyday. I much rather have his kind consistency in the little things rather than a specific behavior or gift once a year.

This Valentines Day, I just want to encourage you to find the good in your man, hold tight to what you find and thank him for loving you that way.

Release him from unreasonable expectations and begin talking about reasonable ones. Let him know what you like and what you want. You might extend this not just to holidays but in the everyday life stuff you both face. He'll be so thankful to know what is expected of him.

Holidays add a little extra challenge for us to not grow angry and withdrawn from our AspieMen.

Self care is SOOOO important! Please take some time for yourself this week. Take a yoga class, go for a walk, and buy yourself some flowers.



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